INTERCEPTED INTELLIGENCE BULLETIN

ROASTY has NO CLUE! What started as a joint venture in pursuit of the perfect caffeine delivery system took a dark turn (not good!) some time back! That CONNIVING Beantoad, that vermin! We’ve been fighting him for six years and his evil designs have broken containment.

Originally, Roasty had suspicions. Beantoad installed a MESHTASTIC BEACON in their workspace, and would take his phone calls in another room, away from Roasty’s acute ear holes. But things were going well between the two of them, and Beantoad assured him that they were on the precipice of a major breakthrough.

Roasty’s hope, misplaced perhaps in Beantoad’s objective genius, kept him tethered to Beantoad for better or worse.

It was Beantoad, with his INTELLIGENCE NETWORK of sycophantic amphibians — who had already penetrated and infiltrated the LEGUME COALITION and allayed Roasty’s major concerns — who was plotting something evil.

In his research, Toad came to understand that the caffeine content in Roasty’s ancestral genetics gave Roasty’s family 50% MORE CAFFEINE CONTENT, and this extra caffeine was exactly what would propel Beantoad & Roasty’s Dissident Drip to the next level. Of course, Beantoad could not share these findings with Roasty.

But after not hearing back from his extended family in months, Roasty is becoming worried on a gut level.

MORE INTELLIGENCE REPORTS EXPECTED

To the Beantoad Bodega